Blog : Old age is a gift

1820 posts
5/30/2007 12:39 am

Last Read:
7/14/2007 6:32 am

Old age is a gift

Old age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body.
I sometimes despair over my body ....
the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or flatter belly. As I've agred, I've become more kind and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookies, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio.

I am entilled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances form the bikini set.

They, too will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful, but there again, some of life is just as well forgotten, and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes" and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be, but will continue to rejoice in what was.

Remember when I was young and so were you, and time stood still and love was all we knew. Remember when we said, once we turn grey, when the grow up and move away, we won't be sad, will be glad for all the life we've had.

A Toast to Sweet Old Age ......

Here's hoping that you live forever
And mine is the last voice you hear.