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New Style of Marriage?? Any proposal? Apartners? Remaining single? Happy alone then happy together? Meeting less to assure quality time and high relation? Must married couples live together to honor the tradition? What marriage means, in fact? I am asking, just askinginto it 
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2/1/2008 9:46 am |
probably the best kind of marriage is one that is with a communicated understanding... if a couple owned two home, they maybe could live in one each.. but it depends on their economic situation and how they deal with it, maybe some may like to be married for the sake of the certification, but want to live in different locations for variable reasons... imagine military people.. they may stationed away for up to a couple of years.. or international sales people.. who are apart more than they are together.. but it's many ways it can be done, it's up to people to figure out what they want and what they like.. as individuals.. Imagine two people who are divorced from a previous mate,.. and they meet each other and each who both own home, and maybe the homes are paid for.. they each may like their home,but they each may like to retain their homes but also marry each other, they can arrange to live seperate and have full openness to visit at any time each other.. and have keys to each other place or how ever they can imagine to want it to be.
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2/2/2008 3:33 am |
I remember when my parents getting married is like they almost have no choice cause my father's parents choosing the girl for him but he is lucky cause my mother is more beautiful then me and she is smarter then my father so in the end the arranged marriage is working out really nice for them. But you know in this modern world in the USA is not common anymore for the family to getting involved in picking the marriage partners for the kids. Now if something screw up is the kids fault and maybe is why there is too much divorce in USA now amongst the Asians. VICKY
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2/2/2008 5:02 pm |
I think it's people that simply don't talk about stuff.. there are so many categories of life people don't talk about.. and they get huffed up and bent out of shape before they hear the full of each other's thoughts.. it takes time to know what another is saying and what they actually mean.. people far too often try to say what they think the other wants to hear.. and then when they get tired of that and say what they think.. they are then in shock.. but it's better to talk about what is within the mind... and not underestimate what the other person can or can't deal with... the exposure in reality is very broad and we have to be broad minded individuals to actually be with someone that we can be more of whom we are as an individual.. things people don't know about each other.. in lots of ways and some of it becomes the sx reality of each individual.. we may fare best to learn what the other likes and what they fancy and what are their thoughts, desires and their fantasy reflections.. not from a judgmental standpoint but from a stand point to understand that there may be more points to share and understand each other.. as people our moods are as vast as our lives .. I've know many women in the past, who spoke of their relationship . who could not share some of the stuff they like with their mate, for fear of being judged, when they desired to share those things but feared greatly the potential loss of the respect from being judged., but the realism may have truly been if the other party was open to hear and understand their desires, it may have enriched the relationship even more without a loss or respect or appreciations and maybe could have found those missing gaps that only grow wider in some situation by and thru the repression of such.. in actuality we all have our various fetishes to one degree or the other and it's not necessarily a neurosis, it is aspect of fondness for various things. and it is important to know what is liked by self as well as the mate.. and if people maybe deal with some of that stuff.. as understanding.. they may find ways to be more accommodating of each other.. and have a broader platform to be themselves.. when people are talking about spending their lives with someone.. it should not be necessarily a outline of sacrifices but a merging of accommodating points in not just understanding but in associating and relating.. and sharing things that are a part of what is each other's likes. we are not a fixed frame functionaries as the generalities of public presentation presents.. and within the discretion of the relationship becomes what is the bonding elements of that relationship and may define it's distinctiveness of what it is. but many never know ... and quickly find discord.. because they become to feel they have to suppress more than they find satisfying to do so. life is sharing experiences .. and as individuals we are each very creative beings.. and that may well need to be embraced rather than contained. now on one point Vicky said.. about the wife being smarter.. that's ok.. because each brings something different to the relationship.. and they make it work..
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2/2/2008 10:02 pm |
sorry about the double post, it should have deleted it as the screen stated.
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Touch, No worry, deleted. and thanks for your profound sharing of your viewpoints. U said: it should not be necessarily a outline of sacrifices but a merging of accommodating points in not just understanding but in associating and relating.. and sharing things that are a part of what is each other's likes. How much you sressed on sharing, merging, accomodating, embracing...To some extent, yes. But... How abt differences? Distinctions would make relationship work better. If you share too much, know too much of yr partner, even to the extent that 'I m you, you are me'. Aint it be bored? If you open up completely all your premises to yr partner and let step in, appreciate and walk out, you are exposing all your mysteries. By unreserving anything, you were like a naked bady. No one would like to explore more with you. There's a Chinese classic poem quote, " still, holding the pipa fiddle, she covers half of her face". That's beauty. So, there's really a hesitation of going deep into sharing.
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Ap, I am asking wat the questions are questioning. Oas, Is it what you like and what you would do with your future wife? Reasons, please...
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Goan, You must be the one that's her neighbor but not far enough. So you remember her well. Actually, what are men's preferred style of living in relationship such as marriage or cohabitation?
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DVC, Are you too racical? Besides a format of legislation, it is: 1) a honor of tradition 2) a convert of a NEW religion 3) a promise that those entered to see how long they'll keep 4) a compromise btw two or (more) animals living together 5) the porcedure of inheritance 6) a small unit of the vast powerful (or declining) unit - society 7) a long term companionship, a limited or unlimited company LOL, LOL.
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Oas, I went to Gz in CNY, staying in Shamian... Yeah, wholesome in the way that you can stretch and toss alot, freely...Best way is sometimes together, sometimes apart. Dearler, Wish us all arrive at where we want and achieve what we want. Cheers, Swlw
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My prediction is that one hundred years from now, the marriage institution will go away, to be overtaken by a combo of companionship out-of-wedlock, domestic partnership, and singleness. Progress from stem cell research and cloning will overcome the issues of aging, organ failures, dying and reproduction. People will live much longer, remain more youthful, have s*x more often, longer, and prefer pleasure over the pressure of raising families. The basic family unit as we know it today will evolve into communal family unions: women having multiple offsprings from multiple men, men having offsprings from multiple women, and both male and female domestic partnerships having kids from heterosexual contributors. There will be advanced services engaged in fertility, human cloning, surrogate parenting, so customized for the client that singles, lone couples, communal couples, and the state can have their designer babies. Some nations will rely entirely on clone troopers and police to provide security and national defence. On a historical note, the practice of infant bethrothals between families in China for thousands of years had caused an anomaly on the effects of natural selection. If left to natural selection, men and women would tend to pick partners who were healthy, able to provide, and better looking. But due to the tradition of early bethrothals, men and women could not pick their desired partners and had to settle with whoever was shoved their way. This, IMO, explains why many "ugly", "defective", and "undesirable" genetic traits have been passed down the generations... to the chagrin of the shallow-minded who seek "pretty faces" on this site. 
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Pickle, Like a predictor, make a comic movie of what you assume.
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