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Self-Inflicted Isolation, Part 1 I made a decision nearly 7 years ago and little did I realise I would still be living the consequences of that decision all these years later. In 2001 he and I had been a couple on and off for the previous 9 years, we had met when I was just 22 years old, I had never had what can be termed as a serious boyfriend until he came along, I was so flattered that this very tall, very handsome and exceptionally intelligent witty older guy would be even slightly interested in me, But he was, and so by the time I was 23 we had become a couple, that were only separated by the distance between us during the week, which was bridged by a telephone call at the same time every night, we spent our weekends together walking in the countryside, theme parks, shopping, going to movies, generally doing normal couple things and enjoying each others company. Then over dinner one evening sometime in 1996 the unexpected happened, he got down on one knee and asked that question. I should have been excited, I should have been happy, I should have wanted to move our relationship to the next level, I should have said yes. Well that’s what he said later. I wasn’t any of those things, and I didn’t say yes. For some reason I was filled with fear at the thought of marriage and I just didn’t feel ready to make that commitment. I so desperately wanted things to stay the same as they were before, But they didn’t, Over time he became cruel and jealous, our daily telephone calls frequently disintegrated into him accusing me of being with other men or wanting to be with other men, neither of which were true. Our weekends were often ruined by his cruel comments and jealous rages and his new hobby of drinking too much. I got tired, of paying his price for my wrong answer to his question, so in 1997 I called it a day and we went our separate ways. 
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1/20/2008 11:10 am |
there is much more in this matter than is displayed here hindsight must look at more of the matter than the simple summation put forth ... so I'll withhold further comment.. for that simple reason.
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I agree with goannaoil about the eloquence, but surely you gave the right answer to a question you had not wanted to be asked. Remember that... you were right, not wrong. May your God go with you.
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1/20/2008 4:22 pm |
Men get jealous quite easily, especially when they are rebuffed. Life is a series of serious choices. Some are good. Some are bad. It is best to stop looking at the past and start planning for your future. Good luck to you. Vicky
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1/21/2008 4:58 am |
there is much more in this matter than is displayed here hindsight must look at more of the matter than the simple summation put forth ... so I'll withhold further comment.. for that simple reason. Yes of course, there is so much more to this “matter” as you called it….lol Whether I chose to divulge a little or a lot, people will rightly or wrongly form their own opinions and conclusions. And as I am submitting my post within an open arena I will receive with an open mind any comments that are forthcoming. Best Wishes T & F
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1/21/2008 5:02 am |
Hi Mr Goannaoil, Thank you for your compliment, It is much appreciated Best Wishes T & F
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1/21/2008 5:17 am |
I agree with goannaoil about the eloquence, but surely you gave the right answer to a question you had not wanted to be asked. Remember that... you were right, not wrong. Thanks to you also for your compliment, and yes I am almost positive in my own mind that I did give the right answer to that particular question.But as I said to Mr Touch above, there is so much more to the matter and that decision set in motion a chain of events I am hoping to set myself free of very soon. Oh and may I say "cute puppy" Best Wishes T & F
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1/21/2008 5:30 am |
Men get jealous quite easily, especially when they are rebuffed. Life is a series of serious choices. Some are good. Some are bad. It is best to stop looking at the past and start planning for your future. Good luck to you. Vicky To plan for my future, I must first learn from the series of choices and decisions I made in my past. To enable me to do that I feel the need to exorcise the remnants of those past decisions. Then hopefully I will be able to lay those memory's to rest and look forward to better days. Best Wishes T & F
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1/21/2008 7:25 am |
Hi Mr Touch213, Yes of course, there is so much more to this “matter” as you called it….lol Whether I chose to divulge a little or a lot, people will rightly or wrongly form their own opinions and conclusions. And as I am submitting my post within an open arena I will receive with an open mind any comments that are forthcoming. Best Wishes T & F
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1/22/2008 6:02 am |
you did say "Part I" and in such a situation.. it's not much I can say.. knowing there is Part II forth coming, other than .. to wish you well .. and it's great that you are releasing yourself from the prison of emotions and thought challenges... You will do fine. Thank you for your good wishes, and yeah I'm pretty sure I am going to do just fine  Take Care T & F
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1/22/2008 6:18 am |
Hi Ms KQRBNP, Yes, you are right,those personality traits would have surfaced sooner or later.If I knew then what I know now my path just might have been a little different.Hindsight and maturity are wonderful things. Take Care T & F
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