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Self-Inflicted Isolation Part 5 I wanted to walk away, but I just couldn't find the courage to do it a second time. I thought about it often, what I would say when I would say it. But I said nothing, Then In November 2001 I was given something else to focus on when my grandma was given the news that she had an aggressive form of cancer and would not live to see the end of the year. The deliverance of that news seemed to suck the very life right out of her body and on the 19th December my grandma passed away. Not only was I devastated by the loss of my grandma, it was awful to see my dad so lost and upset, I realised he wasn’t infallible and he needed me as much as I needed him. The next few days passed by in a blur of funeral arrangements and phone calls to flight operators to get my aunt on an emergency flight back home from Australia. So on Christmas Eve 2001 we paid our last respects to my grandma. He never turned up. Christmas morning came and went in a haze of tears as we read the little notes my grandma had left for us all. Around mid morning my phone shattered the silence, I could see his name on the display and for a second I thought about not answering it, I didn’t want to get into why he hadn’t turned up, it could wait, but I picked it up and said “hi” What’s the matter with you, anybody think somebody had died its Christmas you know? I was stunned and before I had time to answer he was screaming down the phone, how he hated me, how I had ruined his life, how he had never loved me, how I had hurt him and now it was his turn to hurt me to see how I dam well liked it. I could feel a burning sensation around my already swollen tear strained eyes and a pressing sensation deep within my chest, as I looked around the room at the faces of my family especially my dad and knew I just couldn’t let it out. I said nothing in response to him and as I closed the cover of my flip top phone, I also closed my heart. 
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2/8/2008 1:28 pm |
My goodness gracious it always difficult to losing someone you loving very much and you know is the reason why you are exisitng today. We owe the ancestors so much you know because we are really an extension of their own life and they continue to live on in us and will live on in the children to coming. But that guy sure is one screwball who only seem to having the "ME ME AND ONLY ME" complex and all he caring about is himslef. Seems he not having any room for anyone else excepting him and if you coming into his life then is not to be the partner to him but to be his slave to do what ever he wanting you to be doing and your feelings have not room in his life at all. Is good you shut him out of your life. There is nice blog title "Live Life." I sharing to you to, you should Live Life and enjoy it cause is only one we having. VICKY
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Ye Gods ! I've been waiting for you to post again, and I've only just realised you're from the UK ! No matter what, you're better off without that self-centred b***ard... Always ! (Bon Jovi) You take care of yourself, and if you want to let more out... keep talking. You have friends out here who are listening with open hearts and minds. May your God go with you.
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3/2/2008 6:23 am |
My goodness gracious it always difficult to losing someone you loving very much and you know is the reason why you are exisitng today. We owe the ancestors so much you know because we are really an extension of their own life and they continue to live on in us and will live on in the children to coming. But that guy sure is one screwball who only seem to having the "ME ME AND ONLY ME" complex and all he caring about is himslef. Seems he not having any room for anyone else excepting him and if you coming into his life then is not to be the partner to him but to be his slave to do what ever he wanting you to be doing and your feelings have not room in his life at all. Is good you shut him out of your life. There is nice blog title "Live Life." I sharing to you to, you should Live Life and enjoy it cause is only one we having. VICKY Thank you for sharing the blog "Live Life" with me, I will be sure to check it out. Take Care T & F
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3/2/2008 6:38 am |
Ye Gods ! I've been waiting for you to post again, and I've only just realised you're from the UK ! No matter what, you're better off without that self-centred b***ard... Always ! (Bon Jovi) You take care of yourself, and if you want to let more out... keep talking. You have friends out here who are listening with open hearts and minds. Being a Bon Jovi fan I know that song well Two of my favorites are "In These Arms" and the more recent "Who Says You Can't Go Home?" Take Care T & F
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