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Blogs > time_engineer > Time Never Tells


time_engineer 47M
244 posts
1/6/2008 9:41 am

Last Read:
1/9/2008 10:13 pm
I don't know anything about Chinese culture.

And I don't see how that could be a factor if I were to marry a Chinese woman. Is a woman culture? Do men marry cultures? No, that's not how it works.

In effort to eliminate confusion, consider the following:

I would not be against marrying a woman from any country, even Pakistan or Iraq. The culture is insignificant. What is important is that interests coincide. When one marries, one is marrying a person.

Anyway, what if I were interested in Chinese culture? Would that be grounds for marrying a Chinese woman? No, it wouldn't. This is because cultures and women are not the same thing. Only less educated men would use 'I like your culture' as a way to attract a foreign woman.

If I were to marry a woman, she would at least have to like science and prefer a life of efficiency. If I find a woman from China that has those qualities, then that won't make a difference to me.

If I moved to China, then I could start to say whether or not I like Chinese culture. I don't see how a man that lives in the United States, being totally removed from Chinese culture, could claim to like it. I can tell you these basic facts:

1. I do not care much for Chinese food. However, I have never tasted real Chinese food.
2. I do love Chinese movies, but I don't think that is grounds for understanding the culture.
3. I do have an interest in the Chinese language, but that is not grounds for understanding the culture.

Here is a good example:

I love South Korean movies and even though I've watched more than 150 of them, that is not grounds for understanding the culture of South Korea. If I were to actually move to South Korea and interact with the people every day, then I could start to form an opinion.

My point is that one must live in a culture to understand it, which will then allow one to make a favorable decision or not.

touch213 69M

1/6/2008 10:16 am

 it's the nature of human beings to adapt to the habits of their enviornment...

and no one will adapt to everything of any culture.. there are lots of things some Chinese do that other's don't care to do... and with a Billion people.. it's a billion ways they do stuff..

so it's going to be about the woman and the man as to what they do.. and they are not going to like everything each other does.. that's why we are all .. individuals and will always be individuals.. who simply share things.. in different ways at different times.


victorylee0516
(victoria lee) 41F

1/6/2008 4:20 pm

 Ok, but I think you wrong!!!

I import to USA against my will so growing up in America I try to understand the culture. Oh, so much headache just try to understand why so many difference in everything. So just cause living in culture does not mean can ever understanding culture.

I think is best just learning to understanding the person you with. Sure take time to do that but that much better then not learning from each other, right? Cause if you have to live life time just depend on bedtime stories with each other not much value in relationship after awhile and soon somebody gonna wanna go roaming around again. And who knows what you catching if she catching what you catch and sharing with her.


time_engineer 47M

1/7/2008 9:13 pm
    Quoting victorylee0516:
    Ok, but I think you wrong!!!

    I import to USA against my will so growing up in America I try to understand the culture. Oh, so much headache just try to understand why so many difference in everything. So just cause living in culture does not mean can ever understanding culture.

    I think is best just learning to understanding the person you with. Sure take time to do that but that much better then not learning from each other, right? Cause if you have to live life time just depend on bedtime stories with each other not much value in relationship after awhile and soon somebody gonna wanna go roaming around again. And who knows what you catching if she catching what you catch and sharing with her.
Actually, I'm not wrong. You have made a decision and that decision is unfavorable. I didn't write that one would understand. I meant that one must, as a prerequisite, at least live in the culture in order to understand it. This does not imply that an understanding will take place. However, a favorable or unfavorable decision can always be made.

How old were you when you came to the U.S.?


time_engineer 47M

1/7/2008 9:27 pm
    Quoting  :
Very good. You challenged me.

CULTURE is not easy to define. In my own words, here is my definition:

Culture is a product of humans living together that includes behavior and art.

I don't expect that definition to be very helpful or inspiring, since I tried to make the most efficient definition possible. Art, in the definition above, includes books, movies, paintings, sculptures, music, buildings, bridges; anything made by humans. Behavior refers to how people act in their homes, while out in public, means of inflicting punishment, sleeping habits, eating habits, etc.

When I used the word 'art' I based my definition on the original Latin meaning. In Latin, ars means 'skill'. However, one must consider the genitive form, which is artis. You can now clearly see where the English word came from. So, 'art' is anything that requires skill. Keep in my mind that this is my idea and should not be regarded as fact.