Blog : Are you?

523 posts
3/28/2009 6:21 am

Last Read:
5/20/2009 11:58 pm

Are you?

So unless i am very, very, very sure, of my decision towards, I want to tell now, once and for all, what i want.
I can accept our rejection, if that is our decision, but No more games.
No more thinking I am angry at now.
No more thinking I am trying to catch who in a lie.
No more thinking I do not love.
No more thinking I do not want love.
This way of thinking is bad for any relationship, I will not go through that again.
I lived with "crazy" for 17 years.I can not live like that again.It would kill me.
To become emotional is ok, but to become CRAZY emotional every some little thing happens to us, would be intolerable for me.
I would soon grow tired of the needless tears, and find some way of separating myself from them.I only want to be happy.
So before i go any farther, i must think of our decision, and then not change it anymore.If i want love forever, then I am ours.If i am not sure, then maybe i better take some time out, to question our heart.Not just jump in with both feet, and then think i made a mistake.Because by then, it will be too late.Now, is the time to think about, what it is, i really want.
Not after get married.But right now.This way there will be no regrets, or unhappy hearts.If who say no to me, I will understand, and I will not die.I will be sad for a while, but I will survive.If who say yes, then I will do anything to make happy, that I can.
But I will not be able to take the constant doubt who showed me today.
It says to me that i am not very sure of our decision, because as soon as some little thing went wrong, I was ready to give up and quit.This can not be.I can not just walk away, after who swear our commitment to me.
And neither can I.Please do not think I am questioning what is in our heart. am asking, to question what is in OUR heart.
Make sure in our mind, and in our heart, that i really want to make our future life with me,
NOW.one year from now, when it will be too late.Because that would destroy us both.I am capable of sticking to my commitments, even when they are wrong.
This is why I ask to take plenty of time to decide, so do not find that i have made a big mistake.I believe, in my heart, that I do love, but it is an easy thing to say, and difficult thing to prove.Only time, and our actions, will convince us we made a good, or bad decision, to marry.Not just emotions and loneliness of the moment.I hope understand what I mean here.I want for both of us to be sure of what we are doing.That's all.
I do not want who to think I have changed my mind.I have not.My decision still stands.It is really up to who to decide, what who need, not me.