 | Blogs > bmyx2002 > The Life & Times of an ABC > The steel half-pipe toilet - Part 1 |
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The steel half-pipe toilet Jan 19, 2009 8:10 pm In the period after I broke up with my fiance years ago, and was depressed, I left her a voice mail about how funny the half-rectangle steel toilet was in a Bangkok nightclub I was standing in. On the first trip back to Bangkok after my ex-Thai-wife left me, I was in a Bangkok pub on the same road. My ex picked up the phone. We talked briefly about nothing, since neither of us could handle the emotional verbal arguments anymore. I wanted her back. She knew her affair and leaving me for a married man was wrong, but she was going to do it because she was in love. She was convinced or trying to convince both of us that our marriage was beyond repair because of us and her affair. She was convinced I somehow "made her" cheat on me, while I continued to insist I was responsible for problems in our marriage but not the affair since nobody "makes" anyone else cheat. Now just today I was in a Thai disco in Pattaya and I see a half-tub steel toilet in a L-shape formation...and I thought of the last two times this happened. What is going to happen now? The first time, I had left my ex-fiance for my now ex-wife. I was the cheater. The second time, my now ex-Thai wife had left me for someone else. She was the adulteress since it was within a marriage...a sacred thing beyond a simple romantic relationship. The third time is now. My ex-wife, as I call her, and I are yet to finally complete the legal divorce. Soon she will be 100% gone, though realitistically she's been gone for over 3.5 years now as a wife. And I'm with a gf I've known since 6 months after my Thai wife left me. I've known my gf for 3 years now and it's getting serious. This last sighting of the steel tubed toilet has accentuated that reality that I'm once again at a major turning point. It's not just that my wife will finally really be my ex-wife, but that I must seriously now look at where I go into the future with my gf? I'm not married to her (yet), so the rules of commitment, loyalty, and never leaving are not in force yet. I know it's wrong to leave for another woman, but is it wrong to leave if I believe there's a better candidate for a wife in the future? It isn't all about beauty, personality, or attitude. It's the whole package put together, and I am pondering if the reality that I see pieces of the right future wife in different women isn't a sign that I need to keep looking for what my soon-to-be-ex-wife said...that person with a face I can't see yet who I know will be the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with (if it is me talking) or at least to spend a long long time with (if it is her talking). I don't believe in signs of this type foretelling our fortunes (we MAKE our own fortunes in so many ways), but even out of coincidence, it's interesting how the major times of my love life have centered on steel tube toilets in Thailand. And it was there again tonight/early morning/near dawn at the disco. I could say I was in panic, but I'm battle-hardened and shell-shocked from all the did to get and all I went thru when I lost my Thai wife. I was just in a contemplative mood void of any emotional pain. It was like relective pondering of the future and remembrance of the past over the last decade of my love life. It was more remembrance than pondering the future. I guess I still don't want to deal with the upcoming legal final end of my marriage. And with my gf, I've learned the value of patience. I do need to think and decide, but we have time. With time, our actions towards each other, her contemplations, and my own contemplations will ultimately lead to an outcome. Hopefully, whatever it is, it will be mutual and not a one-sided decision, like I did to my ex-fiance and my Thai wife did/or in the final stages of doing with me. =========================================================== This was written in January during my last trip to Thailand. There was something important that was already happening in my personal life. And it is very clear what it is now...I will explain in part 2. |
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4/22/2009 11:07 pm |
Funny,complicated story. KyraZhao
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4/25/2009 2:33 pm |
are you sure getting married again is the thing at this time? steel tubs, or not... 
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4/27/2009 7:20 pm |
touch - It's a good story isn't it? Poetic. Romantic. Wait for part 2.
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