Fu Mao Fatality
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Posted:Mar 14, 2008 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2008 5:31 pm 12957 Views
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My Cat has gone away,He was a Tuxedo Manx,he had a black mustache,so I called him Stash.One day(I think it was in aught one)(01)he just wandered up to my drive way,and I saw him and knew I wanted him to stay,just like that.Then,three weeks ago he stopped eating,and I took him to the vet,he had FIV and Leukemia.So The doc said he would only get worse,I had to have him put down,because I did not want him to die a disgusting undignified death.I buried him in a stained wood box and put a sundial made of brass on his grave.Do you think I did the right thing?I came back here because I had a another hole in my soul,hoping to asuage the ache inside,Maybe you will leave condolances.Hewillbe missed Dearly and Hopefuly,the Sun will shine on him for a hundred yearshe always Loved to lay in the Sun>(^_^)<     
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Catch and Release Program
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Posted:Feb 13, 2008 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2008 10:09 pm 12370 Views
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It seems there are those who like to entice People to see if they can get them to bite,and once they do,they let them go,I understand these people seek validation that they are good enough,but it seems to me that game players will always be obvious to a patient person who values their self.I often lack patience and can always use more.Bottom line guys like me are always leaning toward the interest of brevity,and sometimes we miss the people who okiedoke us.It seems like a terrible waste of time;patience is a virgin!  
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Restoring Wa
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Posted:Feb 10, 2008 6:45 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 5:22 am 12384 Views
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In my reading I have read,in fact,I read it in Shogun,by James Clavell,I read of the Japanese trying to achieve a peacful balance in their life called"Wa",is this true?I often find my emotional life driving like a drunk driver and today,after reading this passage,,in the ski lodge where I am,I hear a Japanese couple ask if there was any Japanese Sushi Place around,there was such a place,and it was called"Shogun!"Wa! Wa! Wa!so off I went right after work(yea,on a Sunday no less,and no rest)to get some Shogun and restore my Wa.of course,the Sushi was good,in this Barbarians opinion(read the book to get this reference)and I do not know if Wa was completely restored,but I did get a cool shirt there with a Shogun Helmet on it.The man who was host was very interested in my request to see any artifacts he had,I told him of mine,so in a sense,I felt some return of Wa,to all the Japnese who think that only violent criminals like Ancient Japanese Weapons,your wrong!,Wa!Wa! Wa!   
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Bashful About Birthdays These Days...
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Posted:Feb 8, 2008 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2008 8:11 pm 13180 Views
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Today is my birthday,and I tried to let this one,41,go bye without a whisper,and it almost did,,it seems like the last few years have noticably aged me,and I felt the hand of time with its cold boney fingers around my young feeling heart,and I resolve to face my age with dignity,and hope to lead by example the way to live and hopefully the way to age,at least I don't have to suck in my gut when a lovley lady walks bye,and now these days,i wouldn't care anyhoo,there is a certain comfort in growing old,i think you can take off the uniform,another way I have heard it is that you GAFF is gone,if you don't know what that means don't ask and debase yourself,lead the debauchery to old worn out hookers like myself,ok,I have never prostituted myself for sex,but its often feels like I am just phoning it in these days,to think I was walking on clouds when she was here,Love is a great age tonic!  
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The Sound of Falling Snow
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Posted:Feb 6, 2008 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2008 8:55 pm 12790 Views
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I often find myself in out of the way places and when I do I try to drink in the nector of a transitory moment that I know will never happen again in this place and this time.Today was one such Moment,the sun was shining,and yet,there were some clouds upon the mountain at Mammoth Lakes.The snow began to fall,and you could hear it,it wasn't like the siizling sound of frying bacon like in a nice rainstorm,it was a powederpuffy sort of sound,like the sound of sand falling through an hourglass,and I thought of the same analogy and smiled at the thought of my moments like sand falling away,the wind came and took away the moment,but in return I saw very briefly,a rainbow in snow,and laughed at the fleeting nature of Life,knowing that its riduclous for me to believe a creator could make something so aware as I feel and then through purposeful neglect,let it fall to pieces?With My Eyes I Drank My Rainbow to the Dregs!!!    
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How do I avoid the heart trap?
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Posted:Feb 3, 2008 1:54 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2008 4:16 pm 12937 Views
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It had been decided that since I have not enough assets to attract a lady here,at least on this website,I will seek my luck across the sea.to be sure,the idea that someone is only wanting to come here just to be in a better economy has crossed my mind,in fact,other than not choosing too quickly I wonder what I can do to avoid picking someone who has this kind of plan?I want to have a family,but I do not want to choose someone who is not nice to look at,not TOO nice or I know I will have problems.Just someone who is willing to throw their fate into the pot and hope for the best which is better than where they may live,apparantly,in this country,choosing to live alone is preferable to choosing me,as I have yet to meet someone who is not interested in how much I make,I am no bum,but it seems that women here want a whole lot before they even talk to you.Apparently,they have high value.Am I mistaken in thinking that a decent guy who is healthy and clean can meet someone here?Its been seven years since I have been trying and apparently I just must have some kind of hideous luck or aura,but few of the people that I have approached ever read this blog and if they do I may be conceited in thinking they would take a chance based upon what I had wrote,but I am mistaken,It's not the first time,and won't be the last.maybe I should walk around Sac town China Town with a sign like the sign shakers have,will work for Asian Wife,what a joker! 
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The Samurai Soul
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Posted:Jan 29, 2008 6:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 30, 2008 11:46 am 12608 Views
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The Samurai Soul is one of endured pain and conflict from what I understand about Feudal Japanese History.I think the word "Samurai" actually is derived from"those who serve"and so they are willing to endure for the cause of the greater good.In my case,this will be for a better life,as I have decided to go through all the things I must go through to find someone.That being,to fly across the ocean.Its feel so much like the fish swimming upstream to spawn,it would be so easy to just stop struggling and drift down stream in death,or at least apathy.I belive many Samurai probably welcomed seppuku for this reason.But to drift in death without a battle is not within my spirit.Thus,I feel like I have the Soul of a Samurai,so now I have decide to fight this battle the victory is in the planning,and thats scary,I have never been good at planning,if only I had a Daimyo or Sensei to instruct me
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The Pirhanna Pond
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Posted:Jan 27, 2008 10:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2008 6:03 pm 14158 Views
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I live in California,and I have been trying,perhaps too much,to find a nice Asian lady here,it turns out that when ever a woman puts her file here,(at least according to one person)she gets dozens of letters to choose from,and she feels like she was being attacked by pirhannas.This ratio makes it statistically unlikely I will ever meet someone here.Add to that,the fact that they never remove innactive or closed profiles and the amount of women one can actually write to is very narrow indeed.I am pretty sure I will be traveling to Asia soon enough to find my Love.Its unbelievable that something so basic can be so hard,when I look at myself I do not see someone who would make women flee in horror,but the unbalanced ratio obvioulsy must mean that there are better men to pick from.I think the online dating thing is really very onesided where I live.  
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The Distraction of Desire
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Posted:Jan 25, 2008 7:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2008 8:39 am 12730 Views
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The Buddha said that desire is the cause of suffering,so my desire to spark someones interest by writing them seems to have the twofold effect of perpetuating my desire and because I think that by doing so I will awaken a sense of desire to write back it seems that interest generates an aura of unattractive desperation.The need to exchange vistas of literary beauty and the love of knowledge seems counterproductive to my purpose here,which is foremost to find one bright mind and kind heart.I ask you ghostly reader in the ether...is it wrong to want to write?is it just a hormonal witches cauldron of random chemical reactions? Sometimes I feel like Vincent from Beauty and the Beast,sometimes Quasimodo  
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