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The thoughts, life, and times of an American Chinese guy. Life can be strange. My fraternity brothers always said I should write a book about all the crazy things, ideas, and occurrances in my life. Even in college, my brothers knew my conservative personality and clean cut appearance didn't mean a boring person. I'm not crazy, but I have been places, had experiences, and seen events for many lifetimes in the last 10 years. I have known joy, happiness, the greatest times of my life, and felt extreme pain. I have done good and bad. The good has led to great memories. The bad has led to regrets and some of the most meaningful lessons of life.
I CAN ONLY READ ENGLISH COMMENTS ON MY BLOG, BECAUSE OF THE WAY AsiaFriendFinder IS SET UP.
PLEASE POST COMMENTS IN ENGLISH. THANKS.
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running from our sins
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Apr 22, 2009 9:02 pm
449 Views
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We pay a higher price running from our wrongs than if we faced up to them.
We spend more time hiding from responsibility than if we simply took personal responsibility and admitted to our wrongs.
Look at this story of a man that spend 10 years on the run to avoid a 5 year jail sentence, of which he is eligible for parole! In other words, he could easily be out of jail in less than 5 years...but he ran in fear for 10 years! Stupid....but as a character in Forest Gump said, "Stupid [things] is what Stupid [people] does."
http://asiafriendfinder.com=home
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Jamaican admits role in Springfield teen’s NY shooting death
By Associated Press
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 - Added 8d 7h ago
UTICA, N.Y. — A Jamaican man arrested in the Bahamas after more than a decade on the run has admitted his role in the death of a teenager during a gunfight at a Utica nightclub 15 years ago.
Donovan Skelton pleaded guilty to criminally negligent homicide. He faces 2 1/2 to 5 years in prison under a plea deal today in Oneida County Court. He’s scheduled to be sentenced on May 12.
Skelton, who is 46, admitted he was one of the three men shooting at each other when Harold Surarrow of Springfield, Mass., was hit in the head by a stray bullet the night of Dec. 16, 1993.
Skelton’s target was Tirus Freeman, then 34, of Utica. He maintains that his bullet did not strike the victim. But defense attorney Christopher Pelli says Skelton admits his guilt as an accomplice.
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To survive a fire, you feel it less
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Mar 27, 2009 6:37 pm
518 Views
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To survive fire, you learn to live with the heat.
To have gone thru emotional hell, you learn to not walk the path that led you there the first time.
To avoid the pain of being let down, you learn to expect less or at least be realistic in your expectations. You learn to be prepared for the worse or at least, less than what you might think you have. You learn to see things "in the moment", and to enjoy people, relationships, and things in the present, knowing it may not always last.
I've been asked more than a few times what I expect with my girlfriend. I was challenged twice by well-meaning women from my past about my girlfriend yesterday. Taking the suggestions as they were given, in the spirit of friendship and affection, I took the words of warning as concern.
Both of these friends had asked "does she love you?"
In both cases, my answer was "as much as I love her...we are not in love. At least that's what we both said from the beginning. We've both gone done the path of a failed marriage. [We've both seen what this passion of being 'in love' is like in it's negatives...it's ability to lead people to form weak relationships, to stay when someone is overtly selfish, to be a doormat for someone emotionally.]"
Both friends also asked, like so many others, "how do you know if she is loyal to you?". My answer is always an honest, "it doesn't really matter. To be honest, I don't really care. She's loyal in OUR RELATIONSHIP and that is enough." After all, we are not married or engaged currently. Yes, if I found out she was having an affair it would be taken as a negative thing. Would I react emotionally and immediately? No likely. It's different the second time around.
In reality, I take my girlfriend at her word. She's given me no reason to believe otherwise. In points of fact, she's given me too many reasons to believe she is loyal, honest, and truthful to me. She's earned the trust I place in her.
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Beauty and kindness...of these, kindness is the better and what lasts longer
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Mar 19, 2009 11:05 pm
441 Views
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"Beauty touches the eyes, kindness reaches the heart." - Marie, 19
My friend is very emotionally intelligent for her age, or any age for that matter.
In my younger days, I looked to much at the outside and used it to assume things about a person's character, nature, and personality. And I paid the price.
I also was "hard hearted" many, perhaps most of the time. It was my nature if someone was pushy or mean or immature, and that described both me and my ex. Then she went and had her fling and things got out of hand for her...the rest is history.
If only I was more kind, or she was more kind...it works so very well. I know. I've done so ever since, and it brings out the best in people.
Sure, people should be good even without it, but then we have our evil nature. Why not make it easier for someone, especially a lvoe one, to bring out the best in themselves? and to show you the goodness we all have a chance to bring out in ourselves?
Why feed and help the darkness grow in the world, when we can help bring God's Light to the world?
BMYX2002
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love and believing a lie for it
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Mar 17, 2009 5:04 pm
457 Views
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"When you are deeply in love you will believe anything to keep it, even a lie." - someone
Yes but only if you want to. In the end, how much "you did not know" it was a lie, deep inside you know.
I've seen the person I've been closest to live a lie AND chose to believe a lie. It reflects a personality that would sell out the truth for fantasy. If you will excuse the cruelty that it sounds like, it is a kind of choice to be stupid by the weak minded, emotionally needy, & those with delusional egos.
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The last 2 weeks - regaining my new life as a non-traveller and having a local life
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Feb 25, 2009 11:12 pm
522 Views
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The last two weeks have been challenging and stressful at work, but nothing like the stress of when I was on the road as a consulting with all the deadlines, heavy workload, and lack of long term social relationships in the workplace.
A trip to take care of personal and family issues to Clearwater/Tampa made that stress greater. It's put back my flight training by 1.5 weeks and I need to get back into a regular patter of church services and Bible studies. I lost regular attendance in the last 1.5 weeks.
I've gotten used to having a regular job and being in my home town during the week days. It's great, and it's the reason I chose to take a job locally. It's also nice that I get to work remotely most of the time from home. This gives me the choice to work and travel, but now only for personal reasons, as long as I work my scheduled hours.
I also need to get back into regular weight lifting workouts in the gym. I've gotten too used to working out at home. The free weights are sufficient, but the diversity of equipment at a large health club allows me to get a better workout and better develop, and craft, the muscles I have and those I add on slowly with proper workouts, balance, and diet.
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The need to believe in something great than ourselves.
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Feb 24, 2009 7:06 pm
370 Views
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"Republics, Democrats, it makes no difference except as an excuse. It used to be left - right. Now it’s east - west. Problem is by the time the ideals of "freedom", "democracy", "capitalism" etc even come close to being achieved universally there won't be anything left to rule. Some people say the end justifies the means but I say the means is the end. You are what you eat. The world needs to come together to end social and environmental degradation not use each other as an excuse to remain ignorant. The world needs to admit that it's simply greedy, egoistic and selfish, and self destructive. That it's NOT good enough! And to have faith in something much, much greater than them."
- by RichardWasHere on Jan 30, 2009 at 11:27 PM
There is only One that is greater than ourselves. He made us. His name is God and his Son is Jesus Christ.
As for the world, it will never learn to stop it's greed, destruction, egotism (negative pride), and selfishness. Our history as a race shows this. The hope and truth is this though --- each one of us CAN change for the better.
If you want to make a difference and save some in this world, before the world destroys itself, you have to change yourself first. From darkness light never comes. Work on yourself first...learn to have faith...faith in God and Christ.
Then when you have The True Light in you, you can spread that Light to those in the world that will listen and hear.
That is the truth of Christ, who CAN save those in the world who chose to listen and follow Him in faith.
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For all the broken hearted people ---- Christian Thoughts on Love-Trust-Faith-Forgiveness-Repentance
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Feb 17, 2009 10:58 pm
365 Views
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Christian Thoughts
Important messages from God and Christ I recently studied in the Bible, in Sunday school, and in church services.
Love and Trust - The two must be present together. Love without trust is handicapped and blind. If you act untrustworthy (lie, deceive, manipulate) then how can your love be real?
Listening and Acting - Don't just listen and agree. Go and do what you have learned.
Faith and Deeds - If you say you believe in something, then your actions should show that belief. This is real "faith". Believing without acting on it is "dead". It is false faith. It has no impact on your life, though you see and "know of" the truth. You cannot "know" the truth if you do not both believe and act upon it.
Forgiveness and Repentance - Jesus said to His believers to forgive if we wish to be forgiven of our own sins. However, all sin is to God first and men second. A person may forgive without our offender repenting (recognizing their sin, ceasing the sin, and making amends), but God demands repentance before He forgives. He is the one who judges and who decides how long to be patient and show another day of mercy to those who won't admit to their sins, change their ways, and make amends.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
Salvation and Works - We are not saved by works, but instead by a genuine faith in Christ to save us as we submit ourselves to him in sincere repentance. The works demonstrate that our faith was real and a "saving faith".
In this, it is clear no salvation can come of a faith that produces no ensuing Christian "works". It doesn't elaborate on how much fruit we will bear, but it's clear Christians (if real and true) will act out their faith as much as a fruit true must produce fruit...or else, logically and as a point of fact, it is not a fruit tree.
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Real Love lasts even with a permanent seperation
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Jan 19, 2009 4:45 pm
548 Views
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Gladios:
Love lives on hope, and dies when hope is dead;
It is a flame which sinks for lack of fuel.
Why love if losing hurts so much?
I have no answers anymore;
Only the life I have lived,
The pain now is part of the happiness.
BMYX2002:
Hope, love, and joy. Of these which is the greatest? Love.
Love can stand alone even when almost all hope is gone. Love, though with sadness and sorrow, even exists with neither hope nor joy.
If it's love and it's real, it never dies. Why do so many people manage to cease loving then? Because their love was not real. False love feels great when times are good. Real...true love is there always. Some people confuse inflated lust, infatuation, or enhanced attraction with love, but the truth is in one simple act or lack of it --- you either keeping loving or you don’t. And if you stop loving, then it wasn’t love at all. It was just one of many misguided and clouded definitions that people who have never known or at least never understood the real thing created. You can’t create or change the nature of real love. It is as real as a tree or a concrete slab. It is what it is. You don’t always feel it. You KNOW it in your mind and in so doing it grows in your heart and soul.
Why are there so many who continue to love the one who left them? It's simple, their love was real, and real love never ceases. In more cases than not, if the one who left managed to “stop loving you”, they only had false love or no love at all despite what they may have “felt” when you two were together. That doesn’t mean, sadly, that someone who truly loves you won’t still leave for some reason or another. People do that all the time, but in that case they still love you. It’s just, cruel or not, they don’t want to be your lover/wife/girlfriend/fiancé anymore. In some cases, that love becomes a flame in the heart, living there and known in the mind, but never acted upon thru a relationship. In other cases, better cases in my mind, the love is able to transcend the broken romantically based relationship and become one of deep friendship or even familial (loving someone like they are a family member).
True love is loyal, committed, ever forgiving, ever giving, and can endure all the human frailties of two humans.
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When God wrote He made us in His image, He made us like Him….ever loving regardless of our actions until the end of our lives. Isn’t that why wedding vows traditionally read “until death to us part” in Christian ceremonies? I believe it is.
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Tough Times and Tough Moral Choices
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Jan 18, 2009 5:45 am
540 Views
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It is in the worse of circumstances, when stress is high, when we are short on money or some other form of deep trouble, that we can see who we really are.
Being good in good times is easy. The question is do you make the right choices or the wrong choices in the moments of life when we are fully tested on our integrity.
Consider this. In good times, when someone has money and a good career and a good happy social life, they are generous, a great friend, and caring. Does this make this person "good"?
Now, what if the person lost their job, she lost her lover, and her career is gone. And they chose to commit armed robbery. Did she become "bad" when she chose to become a criminal? Or was she always bad and it simply didn't make sense to show her real colors when she had a prosperous life?
Some would excuse bad acts in bad times as desperation, we are not perfect as humans, etc.
I suggest that these are just that, EXCUSES. They motivate someone to do wrong, but in the end, the evil will chose evil when it suits them most of the time. The good will chose good most of the time, even when it is difficult to do so.
It seems like common sense to me. You don't need to listen to a priest, monk, or preacher to see this...not unless you are completely void of morals.
The below story is a perfect example of what I mean.
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Police: Ohio man ran hooker-review Web site
Ex-head of faith agency is accused of trading online info on prostitutes
AP
Associated Press
updated 12:33 p.m. ET, Thurs., Jan. 15, 2009
COLUMBUS, Ohio - Columbus police arrested a man they say was responsible for a Web site where customers could post reviews of prostitutes.
Robert Eric McFadden is accused of trading information about online escorts and prostitutes who worked the streets, including a 17-year-old girl. Police say he also helped organize a $10-a-ticket raffle that offered an evening with a prostitute.
The 46-year-old McFadden was arrested Wednesday and faces numerous charges, including compelling prostitution involving a minor.
No attorney for McFadden was listed with the Franklin County Jail.
McFadden formerly served as director of the Faith-Based and Community Initiatives office under Gov. Ted Strickland. He was transferred to a job with the state prisons department in 2007 and laid off in March 2008 due to budget cuts.
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Where is God?
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Dec 31, 2008 1:50 am
820 Views
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It is in our periods and moments of greatest weakness, not when we feel or think or even believe we are unable to go on, but when we truly cannot continue anymore, that God steps in. Often we don't even know He stepped in, carried us, and left quietly.
The next time you wonder how you got out of that mess, or when you look back at the terrible time in your life and wonder how you got through it, ask was it really you that got yourself out of it? Are you going to just write it off as blind luck?
A perfect example of how we might not even know someone stepped in and intervened when we most needed it occurred on Sunday.
I was practicing take-offs and landings for the 3rd day over the last 2 weeks in the Cessna Skyhawk I normally train in. I've been training to get my private pilot's license.
After we landed, as we did our post-flight briefing, my instructor kept saying how much I'd improved. I felt during the flight that I had actually gotten worse and told him.
He pointed out that this time he did very little this time, except when we got caught in a few cross-winds. However, he explained, he had did a lot on the first time and quite a bit the last time we practiced landings. This time, he hardly did anything. (A training airplane has 2 flight controls, and both can be used at anytime or even simultaneously. A good instructor can do a lot using just the plane's rudders without a student even knowing.)
It really humbled me. How egotistical for me to think I had gotten so good in just about 12 hours flight time. And more importantly, it let me see in my own life an analogy of what I've believed and told other people --- we often dismiss what is outside intervention (God's help) as our own abilities.
Often people don't under-estimate their abilities. We so often over-estimate what we can do by ourselves.
At the least, in life, most of us need others to help us. It is in two that there is strength, and better when there are three...and often, when other people are not enough or there is nobody else who will help, God steps in and does what is needed.
And what about the times when things go bad? Instead of asking why God allowed it or let it happen, why not consider maybe it was our own actions that led to those failures and disasters. One thing I've learned is that, all too often, we are much better at messing our lives up than fixing them. Then, when we really need help, He steps in during our times of greatest need.
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To link to this blog (bmyx2002) use [blog bmyx2002] in your messages.
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