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The thoughts, life, and times of an American Chinese guy. Life can be strange. My fraternity brothers always said I should write a book about all the crazy things, ideas, and occurrances in my life. Even in college, my brothers knew my conservative personality and clean cut appearance didn't mean a boring person. I'm not crazy, but I have been places, had experiences, and seen events for many lifetimes in the last 10 years. I have known joy, happiness, the greatest times of my life, and felt extreme pain. I have done good and bad. The good has led to great memories. The bad has led to regrets and some of the most meaningful lessons of life.
I CAN ONLY READ ENGLISH COMMENTS ON MY BLOG, BECAUSE OF THE WAY AsiaFriendFinder IS SET UP.
PLEASE POST COMMENTS IN ENGLISH. THANKS.
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Transitions 2 - what is unchangeable and what must change
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Nov 22, 2006 1:39 am
529 Views
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Some things come and go in our lives. Some people come and go. Some things change....but all too often we forget some things never change and some people stay for a long time or for a lifetime, and some things never change....
It is true that we need to learn not everything and everyone will stay for a long time and definitely not for a lifetime.
However, it is naive to think everything changes and that people always come and go. Sometimes people find solace in this because they have failed someone and need to justify it. Others think this way to find consolation that a painful change had to come. Both are naive people and desperate thoughts....we can no more prevent change than to force it upon the unchangeable people, truths, and things in our lives.
Can we ever remove thoughts of our mother or father from our lives? or the truth of who we are in the present, were in the past, or the age/color/birthplace?
We can change these permanant things no more than we can prevent the things that must change --- we age, our children grow up, our family die, our friends move on.
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Transitions
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Nov 21, 2006 2:41 pm
607 Views
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I ran across a show I watched a lot during the darkest times of my breakup. I cannot say it is over inside even now...it is never over completely for those that have loved fully...and it is not as over as it can be yet. I know that. Still, I look back and remember how bad it was for a very long time and there are things, people, and objects that were definitely part of those dark past times.
And like what those who knew advised me, and I believed, there are many of these things and people I just don't want to know anymore....they remind me too much of those times.
It's interesting. My parents, friends, and long time associates were there. I never forget what they did for me, and I never see them as reminders of those dark days. That's because I knew them beforehand.
There are objects and things I got to know during those bad times, and I don't neccessarily want to dis-associate from all of them.
However, there are some people and items that somehow are irrevocably tied to and trigger my memory instantly to the events and pain of those times. Those things I try to avoid...like this TV show, a particular restaurant, even a particular person I met during one of the worst days. They bring back the terrible feelings and force thoughts on me...thoughts that I remember well enough without these object's ability to also bring back only the pure negative emotions and negative thoughts.
Sometimes it is almost random which people and objects are able to do this. Psychologists label the people and objects that manage to do this to us as "memory triggers". As others who have experienced this can attest to, there are those we meet during this time that we can never forget and will become life-long friends with...but there are some people who somehow become a negative trigger and transition in/out of our lives as we move past the terrible event in our life we are dealing with (whether it is a broken relationship, death, or some other loss/traumatic event).
For me, as I flipped the channel to avoid this show, I suddenly got to another show I watched a lot during those bad times, and I loved the show before, during, and after the bad times. And then I thought of calling the person that hurt me so badly, whom I also associate with many good things other beyound our bad breakup....negative memory triggers are funny this way.
Some people and things become things to avoid at all cost. Other things and people we continue to keep as part of our lives.
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lonely little girl
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Nov 21, 2006 11:59 am
552 Views
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i miss you so bad
please hurry and come
i'm so lonely right now
my life has gone crazy
i need a friend
and you are the best friend who can make me happy
i'm still waiting for you
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The Fickle and The Shallow
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Nov 18, 2006 10:48 am
558 Views
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I have come to realize the deep weakness of both genders.
Women are so blind to their emotions that I've seen it override their logic. They will ignore common sense and allow even the most obvious schemers to manipulate them when it comes to "love".
With equal absurdity, men will "fall in love" with a pretty face and body. Then they will "fall out of love" as soon as their "love" matures so her face wrinkles and her body sags.
If physical beauty is a mirror to the deep perfection of a young girls soul (sarcasm), then the fact men trade these girls in when they grow older is simply a reflection of men's deep inner ugliness (shallowness).
If women "love", as they "feel" they do, then their fickle falling "out of love" is simply a reflection of their emotional lack of control and selfishness...another mirror of women's spiritual ugliness (fickleness).
Evolutionists could argue these behaviours act to ensure the successful propation of our race.
For those who fathom humanity to be more than animal instinct --- the philosophers, the faithful, the ethical men, and the morally principled women --- how can we not look on with disgust at how base we remain? how we are still so bound to our emotions (more so for women )and lusts (more so for men)?
This is what Christians call sin and the fall of man.
This is what should make humanists realize we have NOT grown beyond monkeys and apes.
Given the truth of the mass of humanity's sexual and relationship behaviours, we are still nothing more than animals with tools.
What happened to the other thing that makes us better? What happened to our souls and conscience?
What hope remains? Well, while most people appear fickle and shallow, there are those who know what "true love" is, who earn it, and who prove there is still hope. They are a rare lot indeed.
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A fight that cannot be won
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Nov 15, 2006 9:54 pm
549 Views
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Is it worth the effort to put up a fight when it cannot be won?
Some say they have no regrets when they have fought the "good fight", but would they do the same if their loss was known ahead of time?
I say yes, when it is a matter of right and wrong. Evil has to be resisted. It is true that the only defense against evil or tyranny is good and those that stand up for it.
I'm not referring to the Iraq War here, but it does bear out an analogy....should we always judge if standing up for something is right simply by if the effort "succeeded"?
Remember to consider the consequences if evil is allowed to go unopposed. Like a monster or a bully or a childish/selfish person, they would try again and again. There are some things and "beings" in this world that only learn to reconsider their next act of evil, immorality, or rudeness if they were slapped when they stuck their hands in the cookie jar and crossed the line of decency...and found someone was willing to stand up and oppose their actions....remember, some people in this world lack integrity and only understand the consequences of punishment and negative reinforcement (and sometimes force in the case of police, wars, and military action to offset criminals, encroachments on national borders, and tyrants)....sad but true.
In these cases, success doesn't always mean victory. Even if the resistance or war is lost, we need to remember the resistance itself serves to make the unethical person, group, or nation think about whether their evil actions are worth the price.
Good is the only deterrant and defense against evil.
"The only thing necessary for the triump of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
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Becoming our thoughts
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Nov 15, 2006 2:53 pm
537 Views
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Most of us know the old saying that we are what we eat. It should not be taken literally, but in many ways, we are fat if we eat too many fat foods and so forth.
There is also some truth in saying we are what we think. I’m not a big believer in pure “mind power” or optimism conquering all things. I’m more of a realist. While it is true that negative thoughts can lead to negative feelings, it is also true that we need to simply face the reality that life is “not so great” at times. I believe denial of the truth is worse than the negative emotions/pain of facing up to what is real. In the short term, it may make sense to accept the reality slowly for pyscholigal balance, but in the long term seeing the reality of the matter is neccessary.
In so many ways who we are defined by what we think.
For example, if someone is always thinking about, reading about, and talking about love and romance, is it reasonable to guess he/she is looking for love, in love, seeking love, or getting over a lost love?
I have one friend who is always talking about women. He spends all his time “dating” or talking about women --- his friends latest dates, girls he ran into, and women at work. He is either just obsessed with women or \bsexo?\b.
Another friend is constantly talking about stocks and real estate. He is in fact best defined as three things, two of which are “value investor” and “real estate investor”.
For quite a while, after a recent personal tragedy, I was best defined as _______. Well, that is still an important part of my life. There’s not a day that I don’t remember and think about what happened. I think about it more than when I was born, my parents, or how much money I have. Needless to say, it’s important to me and an important part of me.
However, I talk, think, and work on many other things too, and in fact do so more, because they are part of my present life. These things include work, my current business endeavors, and present relationships I value.
It’s ok to value people, things, and events. However, if they are not part of the present, and we dwell on them and let them take up the majority of our ongoing existence, are we not becoming what we think? And if what we think about is not in the present, have we not created a reality in our own minds?
Some people would call that living a fantasy, living in the past, or living a dream or nightmare….
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Simple Statement
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Nov 5, 2006 2:50 pm
614 Views
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I've been on vacation in Thailand for the last couple of weeks....well, a working vacation given some property issues at home and here, and client work from the past consulting engagement and the one I'm flying directly back to in a couple of days.
While here though, I've had some interesting insights to both my past and my present. I hope to write about some of those thoughts soon.
One thing worth writing now. A wise man over here, actually a man of minor royalty I got to know a little bit, stated:
"Westerners like to judge people by how they look..."
Now that was a little shocking, given Thais so often do the same. He had a great observation in reverse --- often Westerners forget we do the same thing and have the same weaknesses.
How many reading this have mistaken a charming smile or an attractive woman/man for a "good" person? I know I have with terrible consequences.
bmyx2002
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Something happens
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Oct 16, 2006 6:08 am
664 Views
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The Story of Our Lives
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I was born
I lived
Something happened
I died.
=======================================
In the story of my life, there is only one part I have any control over....the something that happens in this life.
I had no control over my birth, where I was born, or who my parents were. I cannot prevent my death, though the events of my life may have some connection to how and when but it cannot be controlled or prevented in it's due time. I cannot even prevent the living of this life, though some may chose to end it in desperation through suicide.
What can I control, at least partly? The something that happens while I live on this earth.
BMYX2002
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The Darkness Before The Light
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Oct 9, 2006 7:54 pm
637 Views
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strength is overcome by weakness
joy is overcome by pain
the night is overcome by brightness
and love it remains the same
- unknown writer
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Moon By The Bay
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Oct 7, 2006 7:36 pm
667 Views
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Yesterday was a full moon here in the Silicon Valley suburbs outside San Francisco.
I was driving in my corporate sedan contemplating the opportunity to share lunar spectacle with a friendly companion from San Francisco Bay, then have dinner and drinks at The Wharf afterwards.
I try my best to enjoy life. You might say I work hard so I can play hard...or perhaps I play hard because I work hard.
My interests are what they are. I live in two worlds. I'm a consultant, trader, and real estate investor by day...but it's all for the sake of the nights, weekends, and vacations. This is another world of exotic locales, good food, clubs, music, and reading....there's never enough time to soak in all the new ideas, sites, and people.
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