Something to read...
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Posted:Aug 22, 2008 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2008 8:58 pm 6819 Views
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George Carlin`s view on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're ? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.'GET HIMALAYAN GOJI '
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
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The Spanish Delicacy
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Posted:Aug 7, 2008 11:30 am
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2008 3:49 am 6709 Views
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An American touring Spain stopped at
a local restaurant following a day of
sightseeing. While sipping his sangria,
he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious
looking platter being served at the
next table. Not only did it look
good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah Senor, you have excellent taste!
Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The American, though momentarily daunted, said,
"What the hell, I'm on Holiday! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry Senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you
come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the American returned, placed
his order, and then that evening he was served
the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents
of his platter, he called to the waiter and said...
"These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,
"Si Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
(source: e-mail account)
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In times like these....
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Posted:Aug 7, 2008 10:59 am
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2008 3:49 am 6835 Views
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This morning went to the "Auslanderamt" to submit some relevant documents concerning my application for citizenship. I need to declare my property and pass another exam. pre requisite for the change of citizenship. Funny thing is, what I heard they asks questions about history not even germans don`t know the answer, how would they expect foreigners
Anyway, also to follow up, why my invitation for my sister was not granted, but as I expected, no clear answer and need to call the German Embassy in the PI.
Honestly, I`m not in the mood for that, things like these I need a drive to do so...
On my way back home, the sky is bright, the sun is shining and the autobahn or expressway is free from "stau" or traffic....
I enjoy driving, I think I drive reasonably In auto expressway, there are at least 3 lanes, Lorries are not suppose to drive to overtaking lanes, they`re allowed to drive 80 km per hour and cars are unlimited unless there`s limit, say 130 km. per hour. ,100 km or roadworks
Well this morning, I was driving between 120 to 130 km per hour and this §$/&% lorry didn`t see me, tried to overtake the lorry in front of him, not sure of my distance from him but how I see it, it`s so impossible to stopped the car for seconds??? 
Good that he refrain from overtaking, so the accident was avoided 
...and as I pass by him, (the driver), he was so angry, can you believe it? As if it`s my fault that I didn`t full break the car!
In times like these, the only present in my mind are the . 
I guess mother`s instinct
Could have been worse but thank God for the angel protection 
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Restaurant Waiter Efficiency!
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Posted:Aug 4, 2008 12:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2008 6:48 am 7011 Views
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Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.'
Ahhh! I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' 'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent.'
I asked 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
(source: email account)
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The Invite...
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Posted:Jul 31, 2008 9:45 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2008 1:33 am 7068 Views
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The other day I told you I was trying to invite my sister here in Germany. Well, she didn`t make it, was denied...no visa and no reason why!
It is not for the applicant to know...
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Two Nuns!!
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Posted:Jul 29, 2008 7:59 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2008 9:56 pm 6260 Views
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There were two nuns....
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) ,
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL ) .
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
Say two Hail Marys!
and.. of course - forward this mail!
(Source: from email account)
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The PIN!
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Posted:Jul 28, 2008 2:41 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2008 9:03 am 6455 Views
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I went to the bank yesterday. For the first time, I tried my new citibank card, how to use it right by withdrawing 100 euro bill
it says there: select language : English, Turkish, French and Deutsch so I click the English, for better understanding, lol.
it says further: please type your PIN (personal indentification number) so was clear to me, my 6 digit number, but then the computer didn`t recognized it.
I repeat it again and the same result
So, I change the language preference: Deutsch!
"Bitte Geheimzahl eintippen"! literaly the 4 digit PIN number! in German, PIN is 6 digit and geheimzahl is 4 digit so, dats the big difference!
Some German words are not the same as English words
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The Break - up
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Posted:Jul 17, 2008 11:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2008 11:15 am 7826 Views
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A soldier stationed in Kazachstan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Johnny,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Matilda...........
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Matilda, Johnny included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 49 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:
Dear Matilda,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Johnny
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Maybe.....
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Posted:Jul 14, 2008 12:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2008 12:51 am 7129 Views
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Maybe... we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that
when we finally meet the right person,
we will know how to be grateful for that gift...
Maybe... when the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we do not even see the new one which has been opened for us...
Maybe... it is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it but it is also true
that we do not know what we have been missing until it arrives.
Maybe... the happiest of people do not necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything
that comes along their way...
Maybe... the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.. after all,
you cannot go on successfully in life
until you let go of your past mistakes, failures
and heartaches...
Maybe... you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go,
be what you want to be, because you have
only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do...
Maybe... there are moments in life when you miss someone, a parent, a spouse, a friend, a , so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real,
so that once they are around you appreciate them more...
Maybe... the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you have ever had...
Maybe... you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too...
Maybe... you should do something nice for someone
every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone...
Maybe... giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.
Do not expect love in return;
just wait for it to grow in their heart;
but, if it does not, be content that it grew in yours...
Maybe... happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people
who have touched their lives...
Maybe... you should not go for looks; they can
deceive; do not go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make
a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile...
Maybe... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human,
and enough hope to make you happy...
Maybe... you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born,
you were crying and everyone around you
was smiling but when you die, you can be the one
who is smiling and everyone around you crying...
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If I will buy the tel unit thru T-com, that will cost me 140 Euros so a good friend of mine bought me thru ebay including the delivery cost, I paid only half the price
for the same brand new unit with gurantee.
, so nice to be back