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What use a camel to hide itself? 9/13/2006
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--a camel flage..
1 Comments, 36 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score |
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What has been your most embarssing date? 9/12/2006
It think almost everyone has a story or two to tell about
something embarassing that has happened on a date. Here
is one of my all time embarassing moment during a date:
The guy I was dating took me out to a nice Thai restaurant.
We ordered the usually Pad Thai and curry. He ordered a soup
called Tom Yum Kai (which one of my friends calls "Some
Young Guy"). The soup looked ...
0 Comments, 81 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Where Is The Power..? 9/9/2006
I met a female of my age grade in this site. She loved
to write me everyday... she makes my mood to change in writing.
Later I noticed that she has two profiles here, few days
later she automatically stopped writing me. I used to view
her profile everyday to know when last she visited the site
as she could not reply all the mails i sent everyday. I noticed
that she always visit this ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
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How to understand some men!! Not me of course:) 8/30/2006
1) "Can I help with dinner?"
Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?" 2) "Have you lost weight?"
Really means....
"I've just spent £400 on a bar football table"
3) "It would take too long to explain."
Really means....
"I have no idea how it works." 4) "That's interesting, dear."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?" ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score |
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E-Mail from the Afterlife 8/22/2006
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago
for a vacation in Florida,
his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him
there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick
email,
unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written
her email address,
he did his best to type it from memory.
...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score |
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A Fathers Terror 8/22/2006
Dear Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have
been
remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness
in not
having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but
before
you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further
unless
you are sitting down... Okay?
...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score |
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Marriage fact's 8/22/2006
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely
an
...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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Missing Beer! 8/19/2006
A man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. He took a sip and
walked over to the jukebox to spin a record. When he returned
to his table he discovered that his beer was gone. He stopped
a waitress and asked, “Do you know who took my beer”? The
waitress told him that it was the monkey who stole his beer.
He then walked over to the Cashier and asked, “Do you know
to ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
9 Votes
,2.78 Score |
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What's in a name? 8/18/2006
A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look
on his face.
'Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm'?
'Because he was conceived during a mighty storm',
she said.
Then he asked 'Why is my sister named Cornflower'?
'Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made
her', she replied.
He then asked 'And why is my other sister called Moonchild'?
'We were ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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What's in a name? 8/18/2006
A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look
on his face.
'Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm'?
'Because he was conceived during a mighty storm',
she said.
Then he asked 'Why is my sister named Cornflower'?
'Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made
her', she replied.
He then asked 'And why is my other sister called Moonchild'?
'We were ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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Chinese Proverbs 8/16/2006
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
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Women and Titties 8/16/2006
Women with big tits ...
..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have men give them the best seats on a bus.
..have a neat place to carry spare change
..have always been the center of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power (with men ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
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A quickie from my grandmother 8/7/2006
A man asks his wife if she feels like going out that evening.
She replies, "Yes, but I'd like to go somewhere
really expensive."
The man, always trying to impress his wife, tries to think
of the most expensive place around. So he takes her to the
nearest gas station.
3 Comments, 112 Views,
14 Votes
,5.06 Score |
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Good Bars 8/4/2006
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They
are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice
place.
Then the Scotsman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but
where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better
one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another
drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!'
The others agree that sounds like a good ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score |
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The Tiger 8/4/2006
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready
to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to
the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm
not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in
this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one
guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
...
0 Comments, 148 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
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Church Bells 8/4/2006
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house
to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making
love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly
100 years ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
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The Taxi Driver 8/4/2006
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St.
Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter
to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling
alley to an Olympic size pool.
'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.
...
0 Comments, 103 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
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101 Ways To Annoy People 8/4/2006
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends
in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip
Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your
pen while talking ...
2 Comments, 112 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
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Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss 8/3/2006
( Read like a rhyme - loves it )
(You gotta read this one out loud)
I f a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus
is interrupted
At a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes
your floppy disk
Abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score |
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Double Takes 8/2/2006
A man sits down at a bar and orders a double shot of whiskey.
He downs the shot and takes something out of his pocket to
look at briefly. After a minute, he calls the bartender
over and requests another double.
The bartender brings him the drink and he downs it. Again,
he takes something out of his pocket to peek at and puts it
away. He beckons the bartender and orders ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score |
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The Confessional 8/2/2006
An 80-year-old man went into the confessional and told
the priest the following: "Father, I am an 80-year-old
man, I'm married, I have four and eleven grandchildren.
Last night I strayed and had an affair with two 19-year-old
girls. We partied and made love all night long."
The priest said, "My , when was the last time you
were at confession?"
The old man said, "I have ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
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Arriving home very drunk 8/1/2006
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of
minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to
another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good
Samaritan and take him home."
The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles
at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points
out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk ...
0 Comments, 97 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
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Deathbed Confession 7/15/2006
The was a man who had four , all gorgeous, except for
the youngest one, Craig, who was nothing short of gruesome.
While on his deathbed, the husband asked his wife, "Marie,
tell me one thing. And please be honest. Am I Craig's
father?"
"Yes, honey, " replied his wife. "I promise
you, Craig is 100 percent yours."
"I can die a happy man. Godbye my love."
And the man ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |
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Who's the Boss? 7/15/2006
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon
suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly
man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here,
put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers." she said.
"That's right, '' said the husband,
"and don't you ever ...
3 Comments, 111 Views,
12 Votes
,5.80 Score |
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sex therapy 7/15/2006
Sex Therapy -
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's
office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that
such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that
he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's
absolutely ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score |
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put off by humour? 7/14/2006
humour is considered the universal language of the soul,
just as some consider music to be ..
but what about when humour puts you off ? such as an ill timed
joke about part of your body?
0 Comments, 18 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score |
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Open Your Inside 7/2/2006
Heart is a very sensitive part of human's internal
organ wheter it's inside or outside.literally heart
is a pumping organ that allow your bloody liquid to circulate
in your inside and fill your brillant life.A warm heart
is a 100 percent full of love from your inside 37 degree centigrade
and a sweet heart is a quality of heart that is full of sugar
of love and love is a tremendous power ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
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Open Your Inside 7/2/2006
Heart is a very sensitive part of human's internal
organ wheter it's inside or outside.literally heart
is a pumping organ that allow your bloody liquid to circulate
in your inside and fill your brillant life.A warm heart
is a 100 percent full of love from your inside 37 degree centigrade
and a sweet heart is a quality of heart that is full of sugar
of love and love is a tremendous power ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score |
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Coffee Break 6/29/2006
A man dies and goes straight to Hell. The Devil leads him
pasts lakes of fire, lava and the screams of millions of
condemned souls.
Finally after a long trek they arrive at an ocean of Shit
full of people waste high in it sipping coffee and chatting.
The Devil says to the man "You have two choices....the
lakes of fire or here to spend eternity". The man thinks
this is a ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score |
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Free Sex 6/29/2006
A man observed a local Gas/petrol/Service Station had
a sign advertising FREE SEX !! STOP IN AND REGISTER TO WIN
!! Daily Winners !! The man finally decided to stop for fuel
one day and he registered for the daily drawing. He began
to regularly patronize this service station and each time
registered.
After about 6 months of never winning, the man saw the owner
one day and said ...
0 Comments, 122 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score |