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This is why friends don't let friends walk drunk 2/23/2005
A nun wearing a full black habit is walking past a bar when
a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her in the face.
Before she can even utter a scream, he lands a solid jab and
finishes her off with a mighty uppercut. She lands on the
ground, where the drunk begins to kick her in the sides.
A few of his friends walk out of the bar, and as they pull him
off the bloody nun, he yells, ...
0 Comments, 247 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score |
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TEN ROSES FOR YOU 2/21/2005
Ten roses for you
<br>
If you receive this
<br>
Is't because you're a special person
<br>
Send you ten wishes for everyday
<br>
One rose for friendship
<br>
A second for love
<br>
One forfinancial wealth
<br>
One for happiness
<br>
One for success
<br>
One for knowledge
<br>
...
0 Comments, 111 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
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Run across this list with a grain of truth 2/5/2005
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk
them and hope they panic and give in.
<br>
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people
are just a #@holes.
<br>
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
<br>
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen ...
0 Comments, 493 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
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Numbers 2/5/2005
Single men have seven condoms where married men have twelve...
<br>
A single man's condoms are labeled, Monday, Tuesday,
etc... where
a married man's condoms are labeled, January, February,
etc
0 Comments, 3739 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score |
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Men Are Like Fine Wine, Women Are Like Fine Wine 1/26/2005
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and
it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark
until they mature into something with which you'd
like to have dinner with.
<br>
Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity
and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied
with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you
a headache.
1 Comments, 435 Views,
14 Votes
,4.42 Score |
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scottish valentine 1/25/2005
Of course I love ye darling....
You're a stoatin' top notch burd
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So yer bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's something there to grab
So yer tummy isn't as flat as it was
I'm telling ye I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ye
I can get my arms around there
...
0 Comments, 196 Views,
1 Votes
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men explained 1/25/2005
WHY ARE WE SO BAD AT SHOPPING?
We've never been trained to do it the right way.Supermarkets
are like giant booby traps for males-which is why, if you
send a man out to buy eggs, sugar and bread, you should
not be surprised if he returns home with a case of wine, a
pair of jeans and a tree.
OUR SENSE OF HUMOUR
When women say that what they most want from a man is a ...
0 Comments, 264 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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Just funny 1/4/2005
Last year a young man graduated from the University of Arkansas
with a degree in journalism. His very first assignment,
for the newspaper who hired him, was to write a human interest
story. He decided to go into the Ozark Mountains to do
his research. He found an old farmer's house in an isolated
section and introduced himself to the man. He then asked
him, "Has anything ever happened ...
0 Comments, 175 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
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闲梦江南 12/30/2004
闲梦江南
<br>
...
0 Comments, 289 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
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how it can be possible... 12/27/2004
how it can be possible...
I'm a black male living in Italy and working around
IT.
I speak french, english and Italian fluently, but haven't
any knowledge in asian languages.
How can be possible to me, found here an asian female as a
life partner with whom I can share mutual love & respect
to complete my life. [note that : I am a tender, lovely, virtuous,
and responsible guy].
...
0 Comments, 212 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score |
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Men and Women 9/7/2004
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay
$1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
<br>
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
<br>
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
<br>
...
0 Comments, 499 Views,
39 Votes
,8.45 Score |
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Truth about Marriage 9/7/2004
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered
that.
2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
3. Man is incomplete until he is ...
0 Comments, 183 Views,
34 Votes
,7.01 Score |
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An example of one that I like 8/27/2004
One of my favorite first dates was when I took a girl on a moonlight
picnic on the shores of Lake Conroe in TX. I picked her up
from her house in my Jeep. We drove up to the lake and spread
out a blanket on the shore. I had prepared the basket with
fine wine, cheese, crackers, strawberries, and whipped
cream.
<br>
I topped it off with a nice long stem red rose. We sat there ...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
26 Votes
,2.49 Score |
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Friendship 8/20/2004
I think friends just like coffee, they can till you mind,
they ought to sovle yur diffcult problem, and when you need
them, they ought can help you. the same time for yo , you must
help your friends, as if he is your parter. thi sfriend is
a friend indeed. do you think so? I believe you must be agree
with me, so we can be friends too
0 Comments, 297 Views,
25 Votes
,1.58 Score |
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Generation gap 7/30/2004
Your grandfathers/mothers, father/mother, you yourself,
your sons/daughters, grandsons/daughters....all ask
the same questions all the time : "why" and "why
not". Only that the opposite questions are so often
posed at the same time....
0 Comments, 3163 Views,
25 Votes
,2.14 Score |
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To Be, Not to Be 7/29/2004
"To be, or not to be"...that's an issue.
Still, you have a choice between the two.
<br>
"To be AND not to be"...there's no issue
for the answer is laid out. Yet, the non-issue can be so conflicting.
0 Comments, 158 Views,
14 Votes
,2.66 Score |
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美女配丑男--解析1 7/27/2004
闲来无事,在街上闲逛。迎面走来一对情侣。女的是我所谓“百看不厌”的那一款——在意识到那个男的已经想在我鼻子上揍一拳之前,我都不知道自己目不转睛地她看了多长时间。好在身边还有三个哥们相陪,否则我得到的恐怕就不仅是怒目而视了。
...
0 Comments, 717 Views,
18 Votes
,1.76 Score |
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Family reunion (copy) 7/26/2004
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his Bob in New York and
says, ¡°I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are
divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I¡¯m
sick of her, and I¡¯m sick of talking about this, so call
your sister in Boston and tell her, ¡± and then hangs up.
<br>
The frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon
hearing the news.
<br> ...
0 Comments, 2693 Views,
27 Votes
,7.24 Score |
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African Marriage 7/26/2004
Young : 'Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?
<br>
Dad: 'That happens in all countries, .'
0 Comments, 257 Views,
52 Votes
,6.01 Score |
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现代流行语: 7/19/2004
1、看不懂不叫看不懂,叫——晕;2、不满不叫不满,叫——靠;3、见面不叫见面叫,——聚会;4、有钱佬不叫有钱佬,叫——vip;5、提意见不叫提意见叫——拍砖;6、支持不叫支持,叫——项;7、强烈支持不叫强烈支持叫,——狂顶;8、不忠不叫不忠叫,——外遇;9、追女孩不叫追女孩,叫——
0 Comments, 383 Views,
12 Votes
,2.98 Score |
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等待千年,请做我一天的情人 7/17/2004
等待千年,做我一天的情人
<br>
<br>
<br>
“真的很想,你能每日在我的床前,把我们最爱的文章用你美丽的声音读来让我聆听,直至终尽。也许这最终只能是一个梦境,一个你给我的美丽梦境。只想牵你的手漫步一次街头。”
...
0 Comments, 919 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score |
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长恨人心不如水,等闲平地起波澜 7/17/2004
长恨人心不如水,等闲平地起波澜。
<br>
就是这两句了。
<br>
人心的奇怪,或者在于某些莫名其妙的时候,纵然是毫不相干的语句,也能让胸中的波澜汹涌起来。
<br>
于是,心痛,总是那些应该忘记的,反反复复着,让五内,俱焚。
<br>
...
0 Comments, 442 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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心有鬼 酒无罪 7/10/2004
笑看色素太现实
句句真言遇坎坷
活的太累爱心碎
让我只想做酒鬼
可恨酒中真有鬼
醒后周围都是悔
学会放弃是勇气
真爱变通有轮回
0 Comments, 492 Views,
30 Votes
,4.51 Score |
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为我们男人喝彩! 7/10/2004
为我们男人喝彩!
1.男人是社会的主体, 不管你信或不信.所以男人应该有种责任感.
2.25岁之前, 请记得, 爱情通常是假的, 或者不是你所想象的那样纯洁和永远.
如果你过了25岁, 那么你应该懂得这个道理.
3.吃饭7成饱最舒服.对待女友最多也请你保持在7成.
...
0 Comments, 874 Views,
75 Votes
,6.21 Score |
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失意人生 7/10/2004
失意人生
小时候, 总有一种强列的自信感, 对未来充满了太多的希望.从来不觉得自已比别人差.日子一天一天地过去, 人一天一天地长大, 梦想一个一个地破灭, 我也一步步地面对着了严酷的现实, 日子一天天地艰难起来.这是一个金开钱的社会, 生活要金钱, ...
0 Comments, 123 Views,
12 Votes
,1.92 Score |
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淡是一种至美的境界 7/10/2004
淡是一种至美的境界
<br>
淡,是一种至美的境界,某种程度近乎古人说的禅,而那些禅偈中所展示的智慧,实际上在追求这种淡之美的境界。
像艺术:“心淡方入妙,意到不求工”
像友谊:“君子之交,其淡如水”。
像爱情:“情到浓时情更薄”
...
0 Comments, 166 Views,
13 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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给失恋的人和失过恋的人 7/10/2004
给失恋的人和失过恋的人
曾有人做過實驗,
將一隻最兇猛的鯊魚和一群熱帶魚放在同一個池子,
然後用強化玻璃隔開。
最初,鯊魚每天不斷衝撞那塊看不到的玻璃,
耐何這只是徒勞,
它始終不能過到對面去,
而實驗人員每天都有放一些鯽魚在池子裡,
所以鯊魚也沒缺少獵物, ...
0 Comments, 323 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score |
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A proper place for everything... 7/10/2004
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop
at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the
washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second
stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...
<br>
- "Hi there, how is it going?"
<br>
Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers
in washrooms on the ...
0 Comments, 389 Views,
65 Votes
,7.09 Score |
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抬头,挺胸,我是最美的女人 7/8/2004
一个离了婚的女友和人说起她离婚的原因:低头低得太久了,隐忍的不满太多,人家却以为这本来就是你该有的姿态,猛一抬头,发现过不下去了。“猛一抬头”这话可以当作警世钟。
<br>
...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score |
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女人的成熟是学会用心计 7/7/2004
很想做个没心计的人啊,率性而为,不必瞻前顾后,不必察言观色,想怎样就怎样,多省心!
<br>
如果你只有14岁、16岁、最多18岁,当然可以这样,大不了得罪同学,五分钟后再
笑嘻嘻搂着人家亲亲热热,没人好意思再和你计较,小孩子,忘性一样大。
<br>
...
0 Comments, 424 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score |
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