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Gabor660625 57M
6 posts
1/31/2019 11:23 am

Well, I posted this as a response to another blog but it is stuck in review by the blog owner, so why not repeating it here with some additional thoughts.

One of the first things I tried to make very clear to my about online safety is that it is very hard to know who is on the other end of the communication. This is true even when we think that we know who we are in conversation: our friends and relatives. It is always possible that it is someone else is doing the talking. As an example of this I asked them to type some responses to a friend of mine while I was driving. In this case, yes, the messages ultimately came from me, but it was a living and illustrative example for my sons. It actually led to some good fun when I asked them to start writing as they would. There was of course some confusion for a short time and a lot of laughter.
But I hope you get the point.

I am learning Mandarin and can teach English , so one of the resources I use is HelloTalk, an app that allows people to connect and mutually help each other in their language learning journey. It is sort of like WeChat but the moments are open to everyone and it has some added features that help with learning the languages, like highlighted correction or the transliteration of the Chinese characters. It has voice and video calls, voice messages, too. In fact it can transcribe the voice messages to help with the understanding. There are language lessons as well.

In any case, regularly I would be contacted by someone whose profile is purportedly of a woman (usually around 30) and fairly quickly asks to switch to WeChat. I usually am suspicious of these as so far only one of them provided a somewhat reasonable explanation: that the free account on HelloTalk allows you to use the translation feature only a set number of times per day.

I usually let us switch to WeChat because I want to see where the scam goes: In one case I was really glad because I found the best and sort of funniest profile hoaxes: these two profiles were posting the same, highly edited pictures.
You know there are apps that edit the pictures on the fly, right? Make the chin smaller, the eyes bigger, color the brows, the hair, the eyes, etc., etc.
One such app is B-612 another one is Beauty Face, a third one is Face-u...
Actually I find the B-612's name such an affront as it is the name of the imaginary asteroid where the little prince comes from in Antoine De Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince, which is all about truthfulness and heartfelt love for the other.
So both accounts posted the same pics. When I shared this experience with a Chinese friend she was laughing and telling me that it originates from a relatively legit market that developed from the of some men. Men who left for the cities to work were often expected to find a wife while being away so the relatives were pressuring them by asking whether they had a girlfriend, yet. Some found a way to calm their relatives by paying young women for pictures in ordinary life situations: in the kitchen, taking a walk, etc. which they could then post and say: here is my girlfriend, so shut up already and leave me in peace.
So far no one asked for money and all these people were supposed to be very wealthy. Who knows.

The closest I got to be asked for money was when a young woman said she would teach me how to trade Bitcoins. She had me install a trading app and walked me through how to create a demo account. (I did tell her that I had no money to invest.) She would regularly tell me when her "teacher" gave the signal to trade. Either to buy or to sell. It was great. I could make thousands of demo (imaginary) dollars in a few minutes each day. If I could really deposit say $5000 I could make a ton of money. Right?
I was trying to figure out where the catch was... Well, the app is legit. The brokerage she had me set up with... who knows.
My hunch is that eventually I would have been on the losing side of the transaction by feeding the opposite of the trading signal. The more patsies put in their few thousand dollars the more they can make on the right side of the trade.
Of course I do not know this. It is just a theory. But I was left thinking because she had no good explanation why she would be so to teach me and to share these trading signals with me.

Good luck everyone.
Stay safe and stay awesome!!

Lily20145 60F
887 posts
1/31/2019 8:11 pm

I knew many man here traveling to different country to find their wife rather than finding it online, the local agencies will set up blind date to meet woman face to face so the possibility is higher so as the cost.


Gabor660625 replies on 2/1/2019 7:33 am:
Right, of course.
I signed up here in the hopes of finding someone fairly local to meet and get to know.
As others noted the site is rather slow, and not well maintained. So it is unlikely I am going to pay for another round as there are other options out there and I am convinced that we meet people who we need to meet and when it is the right time.
It is obvious also that this timing is not all that comfortable at times and the meeting with people can be the source of pain.
I believe also that this life is but one of many and our task is to learn to love. Which is a whole other big discussion...

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
2/1/2019 4:45 am

When people seek out mates.... in different cities, or for that matter different communities in the same city, or other countries.... or even two blocks away, it still means... there has to be a "learning of the other".
We live today in a world that is "extremely impatient" and of a "very short attention span".
People want "Instant satisfactions".... The oddity in society today is, people "kill" with high frequency for who knows what are their reasons.

A recent news article of a guy, who was living with his girlfriends parents in their home. He was asked to leave... what ever took place, he ended up killing the girlfriend, her brother and her father, but first he had killed his own parents.

people might need to learn more about people's ideas they hold as if "they own or the person is their possession, and some have mindset that if they can't have the person on their terms, then they will attack, destroy and even kill, some go as far as this kill who not only kills the girlfriend, but here father and brother.

I'd say, be careful to learn at what levels people become "desperate"!!!

Yes, some spin the game for money, but others are desperate for "validation", in both cases it implies that people are not able to be on balance by their own self and thus live with the demeanor as if they "prey" upon others for many reasons by many means.

I don't know any sure fire means to find out the truths of self and another, other than... pay attention to the day to day character elements and learn what is the persons concept of integrity. A quick few minutes of "erotic" may not be worth the emotional pain and the possibility of unknown violence, or even the scam designed to delude and financially fleece another.

Maybe people should leave the "money entanglement" our of it, and don't advertise that you have money if you have it. the same game can happen in the circles of people where they mutually have money because they have the potential to scam each other too.

I don't know about the "buy a mate" , "buy a date".... programs .... because one still has to "get to know whom they are dealing with as an individual.

The crazy thing is there have been people who got married with a plot to dispose of the mate as soon as they think the "insurance" will pay off.

Why do we think because we get highly infatuated with someone, that we no longer have to give attention to the actual character of the person.

If we go out with a game plan, we might end up being the one gamed, so it still comes back to the importance of learning each other.... that takes time and communication and attention to what the character presents. Not just the public persona of personality, but the "elements" of character.

When people tell you what they will do to others, in circumstances and situations... one might have to wonder if they will do the same to you, if the think such circumstances and situations involve you and them???? This just might tell something about what is the character of the person.

No one escapes the works that love brings into building love.... but... so many expect it to happen like some magic wand and finger snap instantly makes it fit the dreams and ideals.

There just might be more truth to why patience is a virture

Gabor660625 replies on 2/1/2019 11:31 am:
Clearly there is a lot of crazy out there.
However, there is more of the good.
It is because of the media coverage of certain event and not others and the ability to transmit information over long distances is that we get the sense that things are more violent and/or dangerous now than they are.

One example Many people think that flying is scary. At the same time they get into a car without a second thought.
If a flight is missing somewhere in the world it is followed by the media, while no one broadcasts the daily count of death and serious debilitating injuries of car crashes that happen.
Yet, if the same number of deaths should occur via airplanes every second day a major airliner would have to crash.

Yes, there are crazies out there. And we all have flaws.
Yet, the same is true for us and for science: it is like doing dishes the old fashioned way (dishwashing water bowl method):
The dishes are dirty. The dishwashing liquid is dirty. The drying towel is dirty. Yet, we end up with clean dishes at the end.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
2/1/2019 5:56 pm

Yes, your points are valid.... yet, people have a high volume of post on here over a span of time about "Scams" and "Scammers".

I personally don't have encounters with scammers - I've been on here a very long time