Never
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Posted:Nov 17, 2014 8:32 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2014 4:04 am 383451 Views
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Never is a strong word that often defines a do or don't do situation.
If you ignore the warning, you could suffer extreme consequences.
For example:
Never clean a loaded gun.
Never lick a steak knife.
Never run with scissors.
Too often people ignore the warning...
especially when the warning comes from a parent.
For years my mother told me never eat cheese without bread.
I questioned that statement and her reply was "You will get stomach worms if you do"
We were little and scared... so scared we didn't want worms.
My brother and I never had cheese without bread.
Later in life, I was at a party and I saw a guy eating cheese... without any bread.
Hey, I said... don't eat cheese without bread.
The guy gave me a funny look and asked why.
I told him if you don't, you'll get worms.
He was older than me and said he eats cheese all the time and never got worms.
Wondering why my mother told me this had me thinking.
My day had a house rule that we couldn't eat cold cuts (deli meats and cheeses) without bread.
He never mentioned worms and I didn't believe there was some chemical reaction coming from the bread that would inhibit the growth of worms.
Maybe I was thinking too much as the back of my head split open and all those parental warnings started flying around around the room!
Oh... now I get it. Bread was cheap and cheese was expensive.
A hungry could easily eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting.
However, if he made cheese sandwiches, he would be full by the 4th sandwich and there would be enough cheese for 2 other people.
Is there a moral to the story? Maybe.
I honored my parents requests but I learned to never believe 100% of what people say until I get more facts.
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I don't know SQUAT about Chinese toilets...
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Posted:Nov 16, 2014 3:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2014 1:11 pm 384597 Views
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In my last blog, I made a joke about my girlfriend and Asian squat-style toilets. I've heard that some people do the same thing on Western-style toilets. Most of my readers got the joke, but one reader took offense to it. Since it was intended as light-hearted comedy, no apology should have been necessary... but I did say I was sorry. Comedy is like that. Quite often when someone is made fun of, it offends someone else.
Yesterday, I was at the flea market buying a case for my new cellphone and I asked the saleswoman if she was from Trinidad. Detecting her accent... she replied yes and asked if I knew anyone from her country. I told her a coworker was from Trinidad. I added the woman loved spicy food and kept a small bottle of hot sauce in her purse so she could spice up her foods when going to eat American style. The saleslady commented it was very unusual for that to happen and she hopes I didn't think all Trinidadians carried hot sauce.
That said... I don't think all Chinese squat on Western-style toilets.
I love internet research, so I did some 'Google' and found there are enough people doing it to warrant instructions (in restrooms) of the correct way to use a Western toilet.
I'll say this up-front. It's done as HUMOR... if you are offended I'm truly sorry.
Attached are some real photos found on the internet that people have posted online.
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I'm sending her back to China...
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Posted:Nov 11, 2014 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2014 3:12 am 397903 Views
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Dear immigration office, I want to send my fiance back to China for the following reason:
Chinese toilets are unlike Western toilets.
You see... we sit on a seat to do our business and they squat on a hole in the floor.
Since I don't have a hole on the floor, she's been squatting on the toilet seat.
How do I know this?
I can see the marks from her shower sandals, forcing me to scrub the seat clean every time I use it.
It's been 3 weeks now and I'm getting tired of it.
When can you arrange to come by and pick her up??
NOTE... this blog is humor and not intended to offend any race, culture, religion, age, ethnic or economic group.
Thank you !
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Keke and the chopsticks...
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Posted:Nov 9, 2014 7:35 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2014 3:20 am 393764 Views
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Keke is my granddaughter. My and -in-law invited me and my fiance out to a Chinese buffet. This was Keke's first try at using chopsticks. It looked like she was going to make it work... then the moment of frustration. She finished the meal by hand.
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Her expression is priceless!
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I want to...
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Posted:Nov 2, 2014 3:29 pm
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2014 9:11 am 391437 Views
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I want to post 10 blogs at a time.
I want to bicker and complain about the other bloggers.
I want to block some bloggers who complain about me..
I want to delete blog comments for anyone who disagrees with.
I want to be the most popular blogger here simply because I draw the most attention.
I want to be just like you!
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Men who wear lingerie...
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Posted:Oct 31, 2014 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2014 7:18 pm 384634 Views
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If you look up the word lingerie in the dictionary, it refers to underwear, sleepwear, and other items of intimate apparel worn by women.
I repeat women...
There are many different types of dating sites on the internet. Most of them are heterosexual in nature. Some websites go beyond that description and cater to alternate lifestyles. I'll restrict the descriptions so my blog doesn't get blocked by the moderator(s) but alternate encompasses many things including men who wear lingerie.
Blogs often state opinions and I'll state mine. I think Asia Friend Finder is NOT the place to show off your alternate behavior. Personally, I find it distasteful. Having said that. I'm happy to know there are other 'finder' websites including one where men who wear lingerie would be right at home.
Initially, I thought it would be logical to go to a place where you would be accepted, but thinking this deeper, you would get lost in the crowd. So it you are craving for attention, then this dating site would get you noticed more than an alternate lifestyle dating site.
Thanks for reading my blog!
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Banana Farmers...
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Posted:Oct 25, 2014 6:46 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2014 7:40 pm 382797 Views
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I have more than 15 banana trees in my back yard that haven't been tended to in over a year. Because of this, they aren't bearing fruit.
Today, we went outside and cleaned the area, trimming the leaves and inspecting the ground. I added 2 bags of top soil and 1 bag of fertilizer so I'm expecting a big change in the weeks to come. Yes, it's winter and I don't expect any fruit, bit I want to get the trees ready for next season.
My girlfriend wants to plant some vegetables... tomatoes and green beans and anything else we think is possible to grow.
I made the comment we are now Banana Farmers... who knows what we will be doing next summer!
Thanks for reading my blog.
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The Dumpling King...
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Posted:Oct 24, 2014 3:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2014 7:04 am 385935 Views
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My fiance arrived at the Miami International airport at 6am.
The parking lot was nearly empty so I was able to park very close to the terminal. It only took a few minutes to collect her luggage, load the car and get on the highway heading to my house.
To my delight, she loved the house... inside and out. Walking around for the 'grand tour' only took a few minutes. Yeah, small house, but a relief to me that she liked it.
I know she was weary passing through 4 airports and 30 hours of flights. Although she was tired and a little hungry she wanted to see my neighborhood and some of the places I told her about. We drove around and I showed her some of the Asian markets she could shop at.
By then, it was before 8:00am and the stores hadn't opened. We went to the (Western) super market and bought some fresh vegetables and supplies.
We tried again to get into the Asian market, but the security doors were locked.
Next door to the market is a restaurant called Dumpling King. The security door was open and it was dark inside. Stepping inside we called out "Hello" but no one answered. Waiting a few seconds, we could hear voices from back in the kitchen. Hello... hello and someone heard us. A woman came into the front to greet us. I asked when the market would open and she told me 9:30.
I figured we would have to come back another time but I asked the woman what time her business opened and she replied 11am. Oh, I thought... it looks like we 'struck out'.
I nudged my girlfriend to speak to the woman in Chinese as she was hesitant thinking the woman wouldn't understand her. Not true. Here it is, they didn't open for 2-1/2 hours more but something my girlfriend said made the woman turn on the lights, air conditioner and bring us 2 menus!
Are you serious?
My girlfriend placed 2 orders for pork dumplings and the woman went back to the kitchen!
15 minutes later we were having hot dumplings for breakfast.
The price was $15 including drinks, so I thanked the man and gave him a $10 tip for making this a memorable occasion.
On leaving the Dumpling King, the other market had opened and my girlfriend was amazed to see nearly all the products sold there had Chinese labels. No translations needed. Yeah, they have Peking Duck hanging on hooks just like they do in China.
Thanks for reading my blog...
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我的公主到来
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Posted:Oct 17, 2014 9:28 am
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2014 2:55 am 384739 Views
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My Princess arrived. I'll be away from my office for a few days. If you need to leave a message, wait for the sound of the tone..... BEEP
我预计要离开一段时间。
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How to improve your driving in 10 seconds or less...
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Posted:Oct 15, 2014 2:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2014 6:38 am 381349 Views
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Follow these EASY instructions to improve your driving in 10 seconds or less:
1) Press the red button on your cellphone.
2) Place it on the console or passenger seat.
3) Pay attention to your DRIVING. That's the reason why you are actually in the car.
Thank you for reading my blog.
I'm estimating I encounter about 40% of the drivers on the highway with a cellphone pressed to their face while driving. Many appear oblivious that they are driving. It's like they are subliminally in auto-pilot because they are consciously yacking with someone. Too often they are so preoccupied with their conversation they don't realize they are tailgating as well.
So, take a tip from me. Obey the law. Put the phone down and drive.
If you must talk, get a Bluetooth earpiece, headset or a hands free adapter.
The phone doesn't belong at your head.
That's my PSA (Public Service Announcement) for the month of October
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