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beyondfantasy3 113M
1990 posts
7/4/2019 2:27 pm
What Important

Please select the things you feel are important to you, you'd like a potential mate to acknowledge.

( I don't know how many choice can be selected)
Honest, Respectful, and Sincere
Pretty, Sexy and Popular
Resourceful and Thrift with Managing Money
Humorous and Easy Going
Natural and Non Pretentious
Bold and Aggressive


1ClassyLady 69F
3289 posts
7/21/2019 6:25 am

It is about total package. I prefer intelligent people, honesty, trustworthy because my ex has stashed the money he made to himself for years (he cashed out patient's checks to himself) but NEVER paid for family expenses but he is entitled to get half of all my properties and investments.

The community property law is supposed to protect women, but in my case, it is reverse. Like one MD I've known said "community property law is to punish the hardworking provider and reward to the lazy spouse." He lost 4 million to his ex-wife, a beautiful nurse but never worked after marriage. They have one daughter. Another MD said to me that I am a superwoman who got two jobs (one full time and one part-time pharmacist jobs, slept only 2 or 3 hours a day, picked-up kids from schools, cooking, laundry, vacuuming, ... paid bills, bought houses, .... My ex just couch potato watched the TV I bought, the computer I bought, ...... I am a winner, but the divorce made me a loser. It is a double whamming.

I am an honest person, but the dishonest ex made me miserable. He used every chance to ask me for money. Shame on him, a dentist made $2 annual income said on divorce financial statement. The divorce judge told me to hire a PI (charge $550 per hour) to prove he made more than $2 annual income, otherwise, the court needs to take his words.

How can one not to be careful to chose a right person? I am daunted. It is a painful experience.



Honesty is the best policy.


1ClassyLady 69F
3289 posts
7/22/2019 4:45 am

I also look into "integrity", "dignity", "intelligence", .......

I am in "once bitten, twice shy". One drastic mistake made me very vigilant.



Honesty is the best policy.


aliceyumi 53F
566 posts
9/2/2019 1:00 pm

I take the first option. Looks to some extent make me attentive, but if not coming along with honesty and sincerety, one will probably have an unhappy ending.